(Still On) The Way to Becoming
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This past Sunday I gave my graduating piano recital, the pinnacle project of my collaborative piano master's degree. I've been preparing for this since last summer, picking and composing repertoire, learning all the music, inviting and rehearsing with my incredible collaborators, planning the set and light design, run of show, planning out what to say, ahhhh. It was so much!! And it feels like all the hard work paid off. I haven't stopped beaming since. If you didn’t catch the show, you can check out a recording of the livestream here.
Initially I went back to school as a practicality more than anything; I wanted to be able to find work as a pianist. As I dove in as a full-time student and started playing piano for students’ voice lessons, classes, and recitals as a collaborative piano fellow, I couldn’t believe how much new music I was learning on a weekly basis. It felt a bit like trial by fire, or diving into the deep end. It was a lot in the beginning, but as my first year went on, I started to figure out strategies for learning music quickly, and I learned what to prioritize–both in the music itself (like which notes to bring out or skip all together if sight-reading), and which repertoire I’m spending my time on. In my first year I spent a lot of time worrying about learning everyone else’s music and left hardly any time for my own. This year I did a better job of prioritizing my own repertoire/studies while still carving out a reasonable amount of time for everything else.
In terms of piano playing specifically, I haven’t really looked at myself as an performing artist. I am not a virtuoso or technician, and have no intention of pursuing a solo piano career. There are a zillion better pianists out there. I feel very comfortable playing a supporting role as an accompanist, and see that as a very viable career path in a place with a vibrant music scene like Boston.
However, as I’ve prepared for this recital with my collaborators–learning the music inside and out, thinking about what figurative shapes and lines we’re making, the color, the texture, the mood, breathing and feeling the music together–I’m realizing there is so much more to musicianship and artistry than having perfect technical proficiency. Of course I can keep improving in that area, but the point is that those aren’t the only things that make a performance compelling.
My strengths as a musician, I’m realizing, are the emotion and intention behind what I’m playing, the programming (which composers and songs I’m showcasing), and storytelling. I loved working and collaborating with my fellow musicians, in going through the process of learning the music together, and just appreciating everyone’s unique voice and ideas and bringing them all together.
After Sunday’s concert, I feel that maybe I do have a place in the performing arts world, not only in a supporting role, but as an artist in my own right, both as a performer and writer. In a similar vein to finishing a race and immediately planning the next one, I’ve already been diving wholeheartedly into learning new repertoire. It’s like taking a big bite out of a juicy peach. What used to feel daunting, learning a challenging new piece, now just feels exciting more than anything. I think it has all to do with building and gaining confidence. If I could do all that on Sunday, I feel like I can do anything.
One piece I’m feeling especially excited about learning wasn’t even written for piano. It’s an orchestra reduction of Samuel Barber’s Violin Concerto. But wow, it is so incredibly gorgeous. And the fun of playing something written for orchestra on piano is finding ways to mimic all the different instruments in the way I’m articulating the notes. I learned that Barber started writing this piece in Switzerland, and finished it in the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania, where I spent a lot of time as a kid at summer camp. He initially received quite a bit of criticism from the person who commissioned it, that the piece wasn’t virtuosic enough for the violin. I’ll take a beautiful melody over virtuosity for the sake of virtuosity any day! Be sure to give it a listen, it is gorgeous. Perfect hiking or trail running music.
In running news, I’ve somehow managed to keep up my marathon/ultra/FKT training leading up to the recital. I even ran a three mile shakeout run the morning of! While I mostly did it to be true to the schedule I made for myself, with my long term goals in mind, I’m really glad I prioritized getting outside and moving even when things were stressful and busy. It was good for my body, considering playing the piano requires a lot of sitting, and very good for my mental health.
I’ve been chronicling my training on the weekly as bonus content for supporting members, plus I revealed some of my big summer plans including which FKT(s) I’m training for. The first big thing on my plate, though, is the Providence Marathon in Rhode Island on May 5th! It’s been over four years since the last marathon I’ve seriously trained for. It’s been so fun getting back on the roads and working on my speed, which will undoubtedly help to get in tip-top shape for my trail goals as well.
Onward to the next adventure!
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