To “Be” with Abandon
I have been a longtime admirer of Heather Anderson and Karel Sabbe, both of whom just set FKTs on the Pacific Crest Trail–the Washington State section for Heather, and the trail in its entirety by Karel.
I’ve noticed some similarities in what they share on social media and in their writing, which is that they are unapologetic for their love of the outdoors and traveling as fast and far as their feet will take them. You will never see a photo of Karel in the wild not smiling, even after back-to-back-to-back 60+ mile days. I have never seen Heather attempt to justify why she is drawn to these long-distance endeavors. They both just, well, do it. From the outside they make it seem easy, but of course I can’t presume to know whether it actually is.
So along those lines, I was surprised (but perhaps shouldn’t have been) when Heather recently shared the following on Instagram:
Every time I post about an FKT, there is an avalanche of trolls and critics. It used to make me cry and want to quit social media. But it could never make me quit going to the mountains.
Because they are home. Because it's there that I am whole, content, and in a flow state. I'm meant to be a hiker.
Somehow I thought someone as genuine as Heather would be immune to such critique, but I should have known better. The more you put yourself out there, the more you open yourself up to those who won’t, or don’t care to, “get it”.
I have had complicated feelings of shame in going for long hikes. I am realizing more and more that finding happiness and joy in being myself and doing my thing isn’t a given, it is a choice. I am choosing contentedness, I am choosing joy in living my best and fullest life. I can’t control how that will be perceived, or what feelings that will bring up for someone else. It is not my burden to bear. I don’t need to justify my “why” for anyone but myself. Now repeat that five times!
This weekend I hiked the full Presidential Traverse in the White Mountains, hitting all the peaks for the first time. It was a shared hike, with a baseline goal and a stretch goal. As we got closer to the end, it became apparent that we were within striking distance of our stretch goal. I felt nervous about tripping and slipping down the wet and mossy Crawford Path, and did my best to keep up with my laser-focused companion. What I witnessed was someone running with pure abandon, not unlike Tara soaring over the mountains on that last day on the Colorado Trail. The only thing that mattered was being in that moment; finding contentedness and joy in doing something we love, and doing our very best.
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