Feels Like Home
In the beginning, I felt a bit apprehensive about attending Appalachian Trail Days Festival. While I wouldn’t trade my AT thru-hike for anything in the world, revisiting the trail itself conjures up a lot of emotions and memories, some good, some bad. I hiked the trail in the summer of 2020, a tumultuous time in the world and in my personal life. It’s easy to stuff down the memories that I’d rather not visit when I’m buried in piano practice and homework, but it’s kind of hard to avoid when I’m spending time on the trail itself and sharing stories and memories about it throughout the weekend.
I’m occasionally asked whether I’d hike the AT again, even as recently as last Wednesday, when I presented for Appalachian Mountain Club - Worcester. Not long after I finished the trail, my knee-jerk reaction was “I want to do this again”, convinced I could hike it faster and better than I just had. As more time passed, I felt more appreciative of the effort and all that transpired–all the things that went right, despite some things going wrong. I am very proud of what my support crew Jupiter and I did, and I feel grateful for the rich experience. My answer on Wednesday was something along the lines of, maybe I will want to hike it again some day, eventually. But in a way, going into it the first time without knowing what I was getting into was a psychological advantage. I was wide-eyed, confident, and optimistic. Knowing what I know now, the decision to hike it again carries much more weight. I understand exactly what I’d be signing up for.
During Trail Days, I got to meet the prolific hiker and author Heather “Anish” Anderson for the first time, though to me it felt like we were already friends after having a great conversation together on the Fastest Known Time podcast. I confessed to her that I hadn’t yet read her book Mud, Rocks, Blazes: Letting Go on the Appalachian Trail as it came out not long after I finished my own thru-hike. I felt a bit nervous to read it as I was still processing my own experience, and I wasn’t sure what memories it would conjure up that I wasn’t ready to revisit. Thankfully, she knew exactly what I meant.
Amidst the feelings of apprehension and heightened emotion, while in Damascus I set out each morning to run 15 miles solo on different parts of the Appalachian Trail. The first day I ran up into the Grayson Highlands from the Elk Garden Trailhead. It was a beautiful sunny day with wildflowers all around, and I got to see the wild ponies too. The second day was a humid and overcast jaunt heading south on the trail from Damascus, up a wooded ridge and with soft, runnable trail (a rarity on the typically rock- and root-strewn AT). The third day I ran north from Damascus, through tunnels of green and mountain laurel. I felt so happy and at home on each of these runs, like my heart was bursting. I love this trail.
I’ve been tossing around ideas in my head for future hikes, including the Pacific Crest Trail. There’s an appeal in doing something totally new and different to me, a new adventure, new terrain (hello, desert!), and something not associated with so much emotional weight like the AT. There’s also the aspect of not having an experience to directly compare it with. Plus I’d get to hike through Oregon, where I called home for 13 years. All valid and appealing reasons to hike the PCT.
Just as much as my heart was bursting while running through my old stomping grounds, I was also flooded with moments of sadness and anger at certain aspects of my experience. The months leading up to the hike were filled with stress and worry amidst the pandemic. There are some things I might have done differently during the hike itself, though I don’t have regrets as I know I was doing my best at the time. Maybe part of me is mourning the experience I had always imagined. Going on a nice long hike, not during a pandemic, not feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, getting to share the experience widely and joyfully, and not turning my freaking life upside down in the aftermath (if I can help it!).
Not unlike every morning of my thru-hike and record attempt, I had a good cathartic cry on the AT each morning of Trail Days. Sometimes you just need to let it all out. And it felt good. The things I had been avoiding thinking about actually weren’t so bad to think about. And in a way it helped to put some sore feelings to rest.
So what now? While on the trail somewhere south of Damascus I whipped out my phone, hit “record” on my voice memo recorder, and listed all the reasons I might want to hike the Appalachian Trail again. There were a lot of good reasons–four minutes worth! I realized I had listed all kinds of things and hadn’t even mentioned a record. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to try again for a record. I think that’s just how I’m wired. But as I’ve experienced, there are many worthwhile reasons to be out there besides hiking an ungodly amount of hours every day (and night). Part of my plans in potentially hiking the PCT next were certainly tied to the idea of doing another big hike while conveniently avoiding the AT. But maybe my AT story isn’t over yet.
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And a special announcement…
Big thanks to all that attended Tara Dower’s and my talk at Trail Days! We had fun sharing stories about our friendship, gruesome foot photos, the dichotomy of pain and suffering on FKT attempts while also feeling the most alive and in the moment. I mean there’s a reason we became friends! We also made an announcement: that we’re going to tackle the Colorado Trail together this summer in a self-supported FKT team effort. Some fun facts about the trail and its FKTs:
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Distance: 486 miles
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High point: 13,271 feet (slopes of Coney in San Juans)
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Low point: 5,500 feet (Eastern Terminus/Denver)
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~89,000 ft gain/loss, or about 1,183 ft for every 10 miles
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Goes through:
8 mountain ranges
6 national forests
6 wilderness areas
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Shares 235 miles with Continental Divide Trail if taking the Collegiate East route
Women’s Supported Record: Betsy Kalmeyer 9d 10h 52m (E-W, Collegiate East) - 9/3/2003 51.4 mpd
Women’s Self-Supported Record: Nika Meyers 9d 14h 19m (E-W, Collegiate East) - 8/30/21 - 50.6 mpd
Overall Supported Record: Mike McKnight 7d 13h 16m 15s (W-E, Collegiate E) - 9/21/20 - 64.4 mpd
Overall Self-Supported Record: Andre Michaud 8d 23h 16m (E-W, Collegiate E) - 7/30/19 - 54 mpd
More info on the route, its variations, and FKT accounts
As of now, Tara and I are planning to start in late July, taking the West to East, Collegiate East variation of the trail. We’ll go self-supported, which means we won’t have any planned outside support. We’ll drop supplies for ourselves and/or resupply in towns along the way.
There are a range of goals we can aim for. As you can see above, the overall self-supported record, the women’s overall supported record, and women’s self-supported records are all within about a 15 hour range of 8 days 23 hours to 9 days 14 hours, so that opens up some pretty neat possibilities. Jeff Garmire and Ty Smith completed the route in the direction we’re planning to go in 9 days 8 hours, and 9 days 7 hours respectively. So aiming for about 9 days, give or take, appears to be the sweet spot.
Now what’s interesting about tackling a self-supported record as a team, is of course the team aspect. How do you approach doing such an extreme thing as a duo? How do you work with each other’s hiking style and personality? What advantages and disadvantages might there be? These are things we’ll be thinking about and exploring leading up to the attempt and will be sharing about along the way. You can find Tara on her YouTube Channel, Instagram, and Facebook, and of course I’ll continue writing updates in this newsletter and on social media: @pinkfeathers on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.
