A Colorado High
“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. … whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.”
I’ve had more than one friend say to me lately something along the lines of, “You seem like you’re doing really good.” “You seem lighter.” “You seem happy.” It’s true. I’d like to think happiness comes easily, but there’s a certain amount of letting go that needs to happen in order to get to that point.
Letting go of things like…
“What if?” - Maybe something good happens in your life. But you don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment. You think of every single way something could possibly go wrong, or how something good could be taken away from you at any moment, so you won’t be caught by surprise.
Unworthiness - Maybe you feel undeserving of goodness. Why you and not someone else? I’m not special. Good things/happiness/success are for other people, not me.
Holding Back - Your joy might be someone else’s pain. Best to keep it inside.
But.
What if instead of thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong, you think of all the things that could possibly go right?
What if you see yourself as worthy of love and goodness?
What if you unabashedly share your joy?
Soon I’ll take my first steps on the Colorado Trail with my friend Tara Dower. We’re attempting a fastest known time together, a first for either of us to try something like this as a team. We both have levels of excitement, humility, and respect for the mountains, Mother Nature, and the task at hand.
Before any big venture, I do my best to tie up loose ends, pay my bills, and “get right” with myself–whatever that means at the time. I haven’t always been able to get to that place. This time I have. I feel at peace and open to roll with whatever happens out there. There’s nothing to prove and everything to gain in this time we carved out for ourselves in the mountains.
Idea
I will enjoy this life. I will open it
like a peach in season, suck the juice
from every finger, run my tongue over
my chin. I will not worry about clichés
or uninvited guests peering into my windows.
I will love and be loved. Save and be saved
a thousand times. I will let the want into
my body, bless the heat under my skin.
My life, I will not waste it. I will enjoy this life.
-Kate Baer
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