Virginia AT Day 10

Rockfish Gap to Jarmans Gap, plus an attempted bushwhack and a road mile

10.5 miles

More comfort = less satisfaction. More satisfaction = less comfort. To be utterly spent is a wonderful feeling. To not realize your potential is… dissatisfying and tough to swallow.

I woke up feeling wiped out and pretty unmotivated, but what else is there to do but hike? Hiking without a goal has made me realize how very goal-driven I am. I like moving with a purpose. And I suppose there is still a purpose for being out here. I’ve been flooded with memories of what I experienced and how I felt during my thru-hike. I really do still need to write about it. It’s been four years and I’ve barely been able to bring myself to. I’ve felt stuck, but being out here has made me feel a little less stuck. It makes me feel proud of and empathetic for my past self, and is helping to inform what I would like to do next. I would very much like a do-over on this attempt, but there’s no time for do-overs. The best I can do is learn from what happened and take that with me.

Today my friend Anne met me at Jarmans Gap (the infamous Jarmans gravel road where many local trail runners train on). I tagged along with her into town for her work day and bopped around downtown Charlottesville in my town clothes, a borrowed shirt, semi-clean socks, my hiking shoes (I brought nothing extra), and a tattered waterproof ditty bag to carry my phone, credit card, and ID. I drank orange soda and wolfed down some pastries. I sat for hours writing and thinking. I felt a bit out of place, like a stranger or a time traveler. Comfort at an all-time high, restlessness at an all-time high. So, what do I do with that?