Every Day is a Wave

Every day feels like a wave and I’m paddling, paddling, paddling in my little boat doing my best to stay upright. I feel like I’m in the finest balancing act of tending to my studies, practices, responsibilities, and health. The effort feels no different than a day on the trail in the midst of an FKT attempt. Up early, making the most of every minute of the day, flopping over in exhaust at night, then waking up and doing it all over again. Another wave. I can’t wait to be finished with school… and I know I’ll miss it terribly once I have.

In three weeks at midnight I’ll toe the line with 152 runners at the Hellgate 100K, a race in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. On the one hand, what in the world am I thinking signing up for this race in the midst of grad school? I’ve been getting out there and running, but I don’t have hours at a time to train in the woods in my backyard. More often, I’m squeezing in a quick 6 mile loop around the pond near my house, or sneaking in a quick run along the Charles River between rehearsals, or in the dark after class. Because I know if I don’t run right then, there’s no way I’m going to have the motivation to head out the door again once I’m home.

Why did I sign up for this super hard and long trail race in the middle of everything? Well. I think it’s a way of coming back to myself. Trail running isn’t my identity, but it’s a big part of who I am. And I think that part of me is pretty thirsty right now, with most of my time being spent inside. I hope I can hang in there and do a good job in the race, even though I’m kind of running on low batteries at the moment. It wasn’t that long ago that I was up in the high passes of the John Muir Wilderness and traversing ridge lines in the southern Appalachians supporting my friends in the midst of their thru-hikes; and before that, running and hiking among the “gentle giant” mountains in Sweden on the Kungsleden.

On the Old Bridle Path Trail this October

In my everyday, I’m doing my best with the time that I have. I think with Hellgate, the key will be doing the best with the condition I’m in. As in, I’m not at my peak fitness, so I think I’m going to need to be reeeeeally smart and chill out for most of the race. Even-keeled effort over heroics.

I think another good “why” for this race is that it’s helping me get outside almost every day so that I can be ready. My main focus right now is preparing to thru-hike the Pacific Crest Trail next summer. When I think of the big picture, training for Hellgate is the perfect motivator to stay on task. I have some big goals for the PCT, but the big one, which I think will help with all the others, is to be consistent and stay healthy. And actually, that can apply to just about everything I’m trying to juggle. Be consistent and stay healthy. Now that sounds manageable!

💫

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‘Til next week! ~Mercury

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Thank You, Hellgate

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On Perseverance and Hope